If There's No Respect, It Isn't Love

Are you, or someone you know, a victim of teen dating violence?  Check out the link below for a brochure on teen dating violence, "Love Doesn't Have to Hurt".  It will provide you with information and resources for victims, aggressors, and friends. It also includes discussion of issues particular to disabled youth, same-sex relationships, and cultural beliefs.  It is written for teenagers to help them recognize the signs of abuse and how to get help.  If you are a parent of a teenager it is an excellent brochure to go over with your teenager to ensure they don't end up in an abusive relationship.  Click on the link below to view this informative brochure.

Love Doesn't Have to Hurt

There is also a new iPhone app that addresses these issues.  For more information click on the link below:  

http://loveisnotabuse.com/web/guest/iphone


Signs Of Teen Dating Abuse

Nationally, 1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, strangled or physically hurt by their boyfriend or girlfriend.  Whether you know them personally or not, teens at your own school are in unhealthy relationships involving control, physical abuse and other behaviors that can follow them into adulthood as perpetrators or victims of relationship abuse.

Teen dating abuse isn't an argument every once in a while, or a bad mood after a bad day. Dating or relationship abuse is a pattern of controlling and abusive behavior. It can cause injury and even death, and though these are often the stories that make the news, it doesn't have to be physical. It can be verbal and emotional abuse - constant insults, isolation from family and friends, controlling what someone wears, and sexual assault.

Constant texting, phone calls, or embarrassing postings on MySpace or Facebook pages can also be a form of abuse. While communicating online or via text message is normal, it can be used as a way to monitor, control, or even blackmail a girlfriend or boyfriend. A 2007 survey from Teenage Research Unlimited found that 71% of teens regard boyfriends/girlfriends spreading rumors about them on cell phones and social networking sites as a serious problem. Another 68% of teens say boyfriends/girlfriends sharing private or embarrassing pictures/videos on cell phones and computers is also a serious crime.

In its first year of operation the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline has already seen a steady stream of calls and chats from both teens and parents. Visitors to the loveisrespect.org website continue to grow as word gets out about their special brand of advocacy, “peer advocacy”. Peer advocates, between the ages of 16-24, offer support and referrals through the 24/7 telephone helpline and a live chat, between the hours of 4:00pm CST – 2:00am.

These are some questions that can help you decide if your relationship is healthy or not.
Does your boyfriend/girlfriend:
·       Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
·       Act jealous or possessive?
·       Put you down or criticize you?
·       Try to control where you go, what you wear or what you do?
·       Text or IM you excessively?
·       Blame you for “making” them treat you badly?
·       Threaten to kill or hurt you or themselves if you leave them?
·       Try to stop you from seeing or talking to friends and family?
·       Try to force or guilt you into sexual activity?

Getting help for yourself or a friend may be the most important thing you can do. If you answered yes to even one of these questions, consider talking to a peer advocate by calling 1-866-331-9474 (1-866-331-8453 TTY) or chatting at Love is Respect.org

10 Teen Dating Abuse Facts

 Physical and sexual abuse is the most often talked about piece of dating abuse.

·         1 in 5 teens who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner.

·         1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, strangled or physically hurt by their partner.

·         1 in 4 teenage girls who have been in relationships reveal they have been pressured to perform oral sex or engage in intercourse.

But dating abuse doesn’t have to be physical. It can include verbal and emotional abuse and controlling behaviors.

·         More than 1 in 4 teenage girls in a relationship report enduring repeated verbal abuse.

·         One-third or more of teens who have been in a relationship have been with a partner who frequently asked where they were and whom they were with.

·         1 in 4 teens who have been in a serious relationship say their boyfriend or girlfriend has tried to prevent them from spending time with friends or family; the same number have been pressured to only spend time with their partner.

·         Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a break-up.

As technologies like cell phones and social networking become the norm for communication, they can also be used to further abuse and control.

·         One in three teens (30%) say they are text messaged 10, 20, or 30 times an hour by a partner inquiring where they are, what they're doing, or who they're with.

·         68% of teens say boyfriends/girlfriends sharing private or embarrassing pictures/videos on cell phones and computers is a serious problem.

·         71% of teens regard boyfriends/girlfriends spreading rumors about them on cell phones and social networking sites as a serious problem.

Sources:
Teenage Research Unlimited (http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/surveyresults.htm)
Technology & Teen Dating Abuse Survey, 2007
Teen Dating Abuse Survey, 2006
Teen Dating Abuse Survey, 2005